The Devils Advocate: The 100 Commandments You Must Break in Business

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Put down the imaginary Flavor Flav clock and chill. The sale has been made—now is your time to do your actual, non-shilling job and help us navigate the menu.

Wait forever to take your drink order, bring menus, or offer water. The lag time between sitting down and getting started with the actual process of eating dinner is one that could easily be stricken from the restaurant experience entirely. Water and menus should just be there at the beginning. And while you might need some time to get acquainted with drinks list, this is not a 20 minute activity. Everyone is a lot more forgiving with a cocktail in hand, so let's cut to the chase and get things cracking.

Some bread would be nice too.

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Take a cue from Tex-Mex restaurants that have chips and salsa on the table at all times. Ask you if you've dined there before and if you "know how the restaurant works. Tell you to wait for "your waiter" when you ask for something. This phenomenon is perhaps one of the biggest drawbacks of a gratuity-based system, in which no one actually cares about you unless they are going to get a tip out of it.

At the finest restaurants, the staff is one cohesive organism of hospitality excellence, designed to ensure that you have the best time possible. At others, you are treated like a minor nuisance by anyone not directly involved in the extraction of money from your wallet. That mentality is a real turn-off, and it is cause to reconsider a return visit. Squat, take a knee, or sit down at your table.

"If you can read this sentence, I can prove God exists"

In fact, it is incredibly weird and kind of makes everyone feel like maybe they are receiving a pep talk from their Little League coach. Ironically, the squat maneuver is particularly creepy when executed on small children. Go straight for the upsell. The lobster mac and cheese is way better than the regular one, huh?

And that cabernet sauvignon is a steal at just eight times its retail value?


It is so blatantly obvious—and upsetting to everyone at the table—when servers try to play you for a fool and recommend only the most expensive dishes and wines on the menu. People who are having fun and feeling like they are not being pushed and prodded tend to spend more in the long run anyway. Make you feel like a criminal because you ordered just drinks, or just dinner, instead of seven courses and four bottles of wine.

Too few restaurants these days think about fostering regulars. Ask if you need change. I promise not to say, " Keep the change, you filthy animal ," even though it is tempting. Take your plate away before you are finished.

Playing Devil's Advocate

It's shocking how often this happens, and it always feels like another symptom of the get these people out of here as quickly as possible mentality of restaurants. It's especially annoying if other people at your table still have plates in front of them. Being the only person at the table without a plate is very sad and lonely.

Overshare about their day, their job, or their life beyond the restaurant. We can all agree that the whole notion of someone bringing you food, cleaning up your dirty dishes, raking your crumbs off the table, and witnessing the breakdown of your marriage over a bowl of clam chowder is a totally weird part of modern life. Restaurants are awkward. Keep it professional, and we promise to not drag you into our arguments and ask you to arbitrate. The less we know about each other, the better.

Is God bound by human conceptions of morality? Did evil break me? Yes, but only until I allowed myself to be loved back to wholeness. Why do children starve to death? There is ample food to provide for every being on Earth. Look into the vast amounts of perfectly good food disposed of every day because of its aesthetics bananas are a great example! Why is all of this perfectly good food thrown away? Because it is a financial drain to transport this food to the starving, when they cannot pay even a cent towards the cost, significantly impacting profits.

True, re: wars, etc. As far as communism is concerned, it works very well in theory, but every failed example throughout history failed because of human greed in those at the centre the greed which also causes capitalism to fail! He designed the entire system knowing beforehand what the consequences of his choices would be and he was okay with those choices. How is he not culpable? As much as we might like to be, or believe that we are, we are not gods, so cannot perceive nor judge His actions or lack thereof, depending on perception by our own standards.

The Bible however, says that God knows our every thought before we have them, not that He chose them for us. Though, as I said, many people have different perspectives on this topic — many of which make not a shred of sense to me!

To follow the logic that God is culpable for sending people into a world in which He knew the cost of our poor actions would be like saying a knife maker is culpable for designing a kitchen knife that someone used to kill somebody, or a teacher is culpable for setting a test that students would fail, if they chose not to study in preparation. We all have the opportunity to make good choices, or terrible choices.

Something is moral or it is,not. Why would you imply it is somwhow moral for your god to allow a child to be raped, but immoral for humans to do so? The act of rape is to me immoral, and so is allowing it to happen when you could easily stop it. Whether god stopped a rape in another instance is irrelevant. I am concerned with the ones he does not stop. If Christians say human morals are derived from god and are objective in nature, then how can our moral standards be different?

In what context is child rape moral? To say your god would allow someone to rape a child just so the child could hit rock bottom and maybe recover sometime in the future to learn some lesson is obscene.

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Allowing children to be raped to teach then a lesson about life is a horrendous idea. How can you even think that could somehow be moral? Is that the best an all-loving god can do??? What about those who do not recover? Finally, I find it odd that you are telling me you believe it is impossible for an all-knowing, all powerful being to overcome the drawbacks of a human economic system and feed starving children.

If that is so, then he is surely no god. I am surprised you are proposing to limit the power of your god in such a manner. On the other hand, if he could have prevented the course of history that brought us to this point, then there would perhaps be no starving children. If that is so, then he remains responsible for those results.

Obviously, I write as a human being, and my opinions and perspectives are my own, which I have formed based on my own limited understanding and life experiences. I may be dead-wrong, and as I am absolutely no theologian, I stress that my perspectives represent only myself, not my family, my church, my denomination, and certainly not Christianity as a whole.

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I do have a friend however, who is a very learned woman of God, and a priest. I will send her this link and see if she wishes to answer some of your questions more accurately and concisely than I will ever be able to without years of studying theology! On saying that though, here is my completely worthless!